I realize everyone’s parenting experience is different, but I for one was and still am amazed by things my children do and teach me. This post is meant to be a humorous reflection of my life as a mother so far…

No one ever told me:

  • That bright red poop in a diaper is probably from kool-aid. And the emergency room doctors see it all the time. 
  • That peas, corn, and most of a small finger can fit nicely up a nose. It is, however, not so easy to remove. 
  • That all those child stages and ages (what your child should be doing now) books were obviously written by people who’d never actually had a child. And that your children will be just fine growing at their own rate. 
  • That you can and will survive on never sleeping for more than two hours at a time, uninterrupted, for the next 18 plus years. 
  • That the toy they had to have will be forgot and/ or broken within a couple weeks. 
  • That I would need to know how to get pen ink off the toilet seat. 
  • That they really can have a fever that high and survive. 
  • That their first word is never Mama. 
  • That the news is too violent and scary to watch in front of children without nightmares for the rest of the week. 
  • That 5 bodies can all fit and sleep in a queen size bed during thunderstorms. 
  • That babies can projectile poop across the room as soon as the diaper is unfastened. 
  • That your feet grow and your height shrinks with each baby. 
  • That being a mother is one of the best and most fulfilling jobs.

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